Shortly after his father's death, Luke Skywalker was a little short on cash (who'd've thought being the galaxy's saviour would render him so unemployable? But then I suppose so many people knew of his sister-kissing antics. Not to mention the crack habit he developed when he realised Han was getting all the hero sex and he was left with the horny, kinky Ewoks).
On hearing that Lady Gaga was in town, performing one of her outlandish monster balls, he quickly set in motion a plan to sell Daddy Darth's kerrazay S&M outfit. We all know the shenanigans The Gaga gets into in her dress-up room, so he was onto a winner. After some decisive and desperate bargaining Gaga got Darth Vader's helmet (the one from his suit, though she would have reached a lot further into her change purse for the other helmet winking smiley face) and Luke got enough money to pay for a weekend at a semi-nice Motel with some recently rehabilitated Jabba slave girls.
She and her 300 strong stylist team got together for a weekend of fashion thinking and after 1000 Redbulls and a tonne of Laxative Chocolate, they decided to throw the helmet in the bin. That's when I came across it. I was de-worming some orphans on a barge, drifting lazily down some river near the equator and there was a glint off the water. I knew it wasn't the water as that was mostly gross. But this object kept catching the sun. After building a flotation device from the orphans that didn't survive (sad smiley face), I discovered the still pristine helmet of Darth Vader (happy smiley face) and after doing so, I did what any Star Wars fan would do...
I hitched a ride back to base camp on a three seater camel, covered the helmet in tiny reflective tiles or "mirrors" and threw the most awesome disco dancing disco ever!
The End
(please note: photo is not mine, helmet is not mine, mirror-ry tiles not mine, story not mine!)
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